How Your Temperament Affects Your Relationship

How Your Temperament Affects Your Relationship

The Choleric is an extroverted, hot-tempered, quick thinking, active, practical, strong-willed and easily annoyed person. Cholerics are self-confident, self-sufficient and very independent minded. They are decisive and opinionated and find it easy to make decisions for themselves as well as others. Cholerics tend to leave little room for negotiating.

The Choleric is a visionary and seems to never run out of ideas, plans and goals, which are usually very practical. The Choleric does not require as much sleep as the other temperaments so their activity seems endless. Their activity almost always has a purpose because they are by nature result-oriented.

They usually do not give in to the pressure of what others think unless they see that they cannot get the desired results. Cholerics can be crusaders against social injustice as they love to fight for a cause. Cholerics are both direct and firm when responding to others. They are slow to build relationships because results tend to be more important than people. They do not easily empathize with the feelings of others or show compassion. Cholerics think big and seek positions of authority.

For people with a choleric temperament, dating is not fun like it is with sanguine people. Choleric people approach dating in the same manner they approach other issues in their lives – they analyze their hopes and needs, as well as the potential partner.
It is crucial that this potential partner shares their goals and interests because choleric people need someone to exchange ideas and talk about what interests them, for example, science and politics.

People with this temperament are attracted by those who are good listeners, smart at handling conflicts and disagreements and have other recognized social skills. While they analyze and hide their own emotions, Choleric people look for someone who is emotionally expressive, flexible and even hesitant. Often phlegmatic personalities are their choice when seeking the perfect partner. 

Choleric people usually are not interested in several relationships at once and have little dating experience when they are young. They may act awkwardly and if they don’t envision future with you and are not interested in you, they may treat you with neglect and be very impatient. Because of their forthright style and take-charge approach, they are likely to end the relationship abruptly when you may not even expect it.

On the other hand, if they find someone who they think is worth of their time and effort, they will focus intensively on that person. They can be very romantic and are ready for a deep commitment. Instead of expressing their emotions they will focus on pleasing you by getting you what you want. They like to be needed, so describe them your problems and difficulties and they will try to fix it for you.

Between all four temperaments, this temperament falls in love less frequently. They have only few serious relationships during their lives. However, if they had decided to build a relationship with that one special partner, they wouldn’t leave it easily, even if it wasn’t exactly what they wanted – they are not the type of people that enjoy regularly changing their minds.

This is the most sexual of four temperaments. They have a high sex drive, but they don’t like “sleeping around”.
However, once they are in committed relationship, they see sex as the central core of the union and ask for sex more and more. Sex is very meaningful to them, but they do not share the details of their sex life with their friends. From the other side, they are comfortable at sharing their sexual needs with their partners.

The Sanguine is an extroverted, fun-loving, activity-prone, impulsive, entertaining, persuasive, easily amused and optimistic person. Sanguines are receptive and open to others and build relationships quickly. They are animated, excited and accepting of others.
They will smile and talk easily and often. It is not unusual to feel as if you have known the Sanguine person for years after only a few minutes. Sanguines are so people-oriented that they easily forget about time and are often late arriving at their destination. Sanguines get bored easily because of their orientation to social involvement, activity and general dislike for solitude. The Sanguine never lacks for friends. Their attention span is based on whether or not they are interested in the person or event. The Sanguine can change their focus or interest in an instant. Sanguines are competitive and tend to be disorganized. Unless very disciplined, the Sanguine will have difficulty controlling their emotions.

They usually like sports of any kind because of the activity and involvement with other people. Their voice will show excitement and friendliness. Sanguines usually dress according to current fashion. The Sanguine fears rejection or not making a favorable impression. They also fear others viewing them as unsuccessful. Sanguines are very effective working with people.

Because this is the most adventurous of four temperaments, Sanguines are most compatible with their own type. These people are looking for a play mate; someone who will go adventuring with them, be it in conversation, in bed, or all around the world. They see dating as entertainment and love to go out and do novel things. In short, this means the relationship with a Sanguine person can be very exciting.

Because they love pleasure of senses, they are likely to take you to all kinds of art and cultural events, movies, shows and exotic restaurants. They are also highly sensitive to the world around them and you might even notice their attraction to complex designs and abstract art as well as their preference to sour, spicy and crunchy food.

They like intense and complicated music and the rhythmic side of them is even present in the way that they talk. Their extrovert nature and constant cravings for variety means that most Sanguine people have a lot of experience in dating and they can easily adjust to almost any courtship situation. They are friendly and enthusiastic and have no desire to control you, so you will probably feel comfortable and at ease. These people are also generous and are likely to give gifts early in the relationship.

Sanguine people are good listeners and they will always ask you about yourself in order to engage you and to satisfy their curiosity. During the conversation many of them look directly at you as well as leaning forward, touching your hand, arm or leg, while listening intently. Most of them have no problem with moving from one topic to another and despite that Sanguine people find self-disclosure difficult, they will talk about themselves occasionally, more with jokes that seriousness but eventually, disclosure will come when they are comfortable.

These people like nonsense and incongruous humor and have no problems laughing at themselves in order to make other people laugh. They are good at bantering and witty exchanges and as people pleasers they strive to perform and entertain, focusing on surprises, which of course, they simply adore!

Sanguine people have a relaxed attitude towards sex. Sanguine women, however, are less permissive than sanguine men. For most sanguines , sex is often a recreation, sometimes not even linked with loving or even really liking their partner.


The Phlegmatic is an introverted, calm, unemotional, easygoing, never-get-upset, person. Phlegmatics are both slow and indirect when responding to others. They are also slow to warm-up but will be accommodating in the process. Phlegmatics are by far the easiest person with which to get along. They live a quiet, routine, life, free of the normal anxieties and stresses of the other temperaments. The Phlegmatic will avoid getting too involved with people and life in general.

Phlegmatics seldom exert themselves with others or push their way along in their career, they just let it happen. The Phlegmatic communicates a warm, sincere interest in others preferring to have just a few close friends. They will be very loyal to their friends and find it difficult to break long standing relationships regardless of what the other person does. The phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. Phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. They are accepting and affectionate. They may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. They can also be passive-aggressive. Phlegmatics tend to avoid conflict and making decisions of any kind. They are practical, concrete and traditional thinkers. Their stoic expression often hides their true feelings. The Phlegmatic may be patient to the point of paralysis. Phlegmatics are persistent and consistent at whatever they undertake.

The Phlegmatic Lover is the most sensitive of four temperaments. When they are with their potential partners, phlegmatic people seek for common intellectual and emotional ground, which will serve as a bridge from heart to heart. Because they reveal their feelings right in the beginning, they can be deeply hurt by rejection and these people do not see dating as a fun experience in the same way that Sanguine people do. Dating for them is always seeking for marriage or long-term committed relationship and they have a tendency to look for bonding, nurturing and attachment with a potential partner or date. In fact, when dating, they truly give themselves and it has been known for them at times, to get so tired emotionally that they stop dating for a period of time.

Once phlegmatic people find “the one”, they work on maintaining intimacy with this partner. They will avoid conflicts, they will do major adjustments and sacrifices – all for the sake of this cherished bond. Everything that happens within the relationship such as the odd phone call here and the email there is looked at as an important part of their relationship to the point where they actively enjoy analyzing their relationships and their partners’ thoughts and motives.
Between all four temperaments, this is the most romantic one. They fall in love most frequently and romance is critical to them; they plan romantic evenings and weekends well in advance. They will send you romantic cards; give you hugs and confess their love in hope that you will answer with the same. Sex also has to be romantic and if they engage it at all they expect that a meaningful relationship will develop. To them sex and love are interconnected – the exact opposite of typical sanguine approach.

Because phlegmatic people have rich fantasy life, they tend to idealize their partners. It is only when they delve further into the relationship and find out that their perfect partner isn’t quite as perfect as they once thought, the entire relationship is almost deemed to be ruined or “poisoned” to the point where they may not even be interested anymore.
It is important to mention that despite the fact that phlegmatic people seek for harmony and spend a lot of energy to build connection with their partners, they don’t like clingy and overly demanding people.

The Melancholy is an introverted, logical, analytical, factual, private, lets-do-it-right person. Melancholies respond to others in a slow, cautious and indirect manner. Melancholies are reserved and suspicious until sure of your intentions. The Melancholy probe for the "hidden meaning" behind your words. They are timid and may appear unsure and have a serious expression. They are self-sacrificing, gifted and they tend to be a perfectionist.

Melancholies are very sensitive to what others think about their work. The Melancholy is well organized; on occasion you may find a Melancholy that keeps things cluttered, however, they know what’s in the piles. The Melancholy is determined to make the right and best decision. Melancholies will ask specific questions and sometimes they will ask the same question again and again. The Melancholy needs reassurance, feedback and reasons why they should do something. They need information, time to think and a plan. The Melancholy fears taking a risk, making a wrong decision and being viewed as incompetent. Melancholies tend to have a negative attitude toward something new until they have had time to think it over. Melancholies are skeptical about most everything but they are creative and capable people. Melancholies tend to get bored with something once they get it figured out.

While most people tend to become passionate and somewhat irrational when they fall in love, Melancholic’s love is more pragmatic and down-to-earth. They see their love partners as assistants; their love preferences are based on common sense and compatibility. They should be predictable; adhering to the traditions and loyal to family.

Melancholics take dating seriously:

Ø  They keep the good manners.
Ø  They will never be late.
Ø  Melancholic men will open doors for women.
Ø  Melancholic women will cook for men.
Ø  Moreover, they will always make concrete plans for what you will do in advance.
Ø  They will be protective of you and, if they are really serious, they are likely to give important gifts.

In short, these people enjoy the traditions associated with dating and a relationship.

These types like to be concrete – they like facts and are literal in everything. Their conversation is detailed and factual, hating drama, and may appear unromantic to other types. This is the reason why they are usually attracted to their own type, especially when they are willing to settle down and start the family.
Melancholics do not choose their life partners impulsively, they do it very cautiously, considering the opinions of their friends and relatives. They fear to be criticized and this is why they may need friends and relatives to approve their date before they commit to him or her. This is also one of the reasons why melancholic people enjoy doing things as a couple within a larger group of friends.

Between all four temperaments, these people can be classified as the pillars of society. They enjoy community events and outings with the group of friends. As a result, the intimacy with this kind of people develops slowly. This is convenient to the Melancholics – by dating and courting in this way they can think carefully about their plans with you and further ahead such as marriage, children etc. They can plan things in advance and it is important to them that romance goes as planned.
Sex for Melancholics is a way to forget problems and relax. It is not a playful adventure, like for sanguine people. They usually have fewer sexual experiences before marriage. In fact, Melancholics are the least sexual of four temperaments – they do still enjoy sex, but they like it when it is familiar and not in the style of a “one night stand.

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